May 2013
megaman2:
megaman2:
“mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was…… extremely silly?”
“no, i said she was fucking goofy”
please stop reblogging this i stole this joke from my brother
teenwhoops:
i’m glad we don’t have to hunt for our food any more.. i don’t even know where Sandwiches live
woofuckingjiho:
when the pizza guy came over today i was like “have a good day” and he said “dont tell me what to do” and i just stood there staring at him and then he’s like “lol i got that from drake and josh”
ejacutastic:
when guys talk about how gross periods are i just laugh because guys have a floppy piece of flesh that gets hard and that’s pretty fuckin weird, bucko
peregr1ne:
my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him
This is what Yahoo paid $1.3 Billion for.
castielofasgard:
defend-squidgy:
*hardcore whispers the screaming parts*
irresponsibleeyouth:
The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.
esexist:
my sexual orientation is straight
up gangster
stillwatersofconsciousness:
radish is a really accurate name for a vegetable because they’re pretty cool but they’re not that cool
Tumblr app: I'm done loading
Me: but what about all these blank pictures and gifs
Tumblr app: did I fucking stutter
