megaman2: megaman2: “mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was…… extremely silly?” “no, i said she was fucking goofy” please stop reblogging this i stole this joke from my brother
teenwhoops: i’m glad we don’t have to hunt for our food any more.. i don’t even know where Sandwiches live
woofuckingjiho: when the pizza guy came over today i was like “have a good day” and he said “dont tell me what to do” and i just stood there staring at him and then he’s like “lol i got that from drake and josh”
ejacutastic: when guys talk about how gross periods are i just laugh because guys have a floppy piece of flesh that gets hard and that’s pretty fuckin weird, bucko
peregr1ne: my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him
This is what Yahoo paid $1.3 Billion for.
defend-squidgy: *hardcore whispers the screaming parts*
irresponsibleeyouth: The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.
esexist: my sexual orientation is straight up gangster
stillwatersofconsciousness: radish is a really accurate name for a vegetable because they’re pretty cool but they’re not that cool
Tumblr app: I'm done loading
Me: but what about all these blank pictures and gifs
Tumblr app: did I fucking stutter